Life Lately
**Tommy**
Today Tommy is nine months old.
Nine months. Wow. It truly has been the fastest nine months of my entire life, which is funny, considering Tommy’s pregnancy was the slowest nine months of my life. I had a hard pregnancy. Yes, time has helped heal me of the acute memory, but it’s still there. By the end, nine months in, I was so ready to be done and ready to meet my son. I was as large as a house, riddled with aches and pains, and my body was screaming “no more!!” at me. I had no idea who Tommy was, who he would turn out to be, but I sure was ready to meet him.
And now, nine months out, he’s upstairs in his crib squealing at the ceiling, fighting his nap today. I have to go do school pickup in a half hour, so the nap is pretty much out the window. Oh well. Tommy is such a happy baby, even when he doesn’t nap well. He reminds me so much of how Auden was as a baby. Happy, able to go with the flow, easy to please, on the quiet side. He has his moments, of course, but don’t we all? I think he will be my latest crawler, if he crawls at all. He is content just to sit and watch his big brothers act like maniacs around him; he is content to scoot around in his little toy walker, navigating turns around the kitchen like a pro.
Nine months and I can’t imagine life without him. He does make our family feel complete, like we needed him all along.
**Auden**
I lost my temper at Auden a couple weeks ago. It happens. I have had to learn to forgive myself. But in this instance, my blow up was a bit…ahem…large. All the boys were in tears. After I managed a few deep breaths, I went upstairs to talk to Auden about it.
“Mommy, remember the two greatest commandments?” My five year old wailed, big fat crocodile tears rolling down his cheeks. “Remember, Mommy?”
I stood in front of him with my hands on my hips, feeling the air get sucked right out of me.
“Love God and love others. Remember Mommy? You were not loving!” He cried.
I wanted to defend myself, to remind him of the commandment to “obey your parents”. But instead, I felt my defense falter and I sank to my knees in front of him.
“I’m so sorry, buddy. You’re right. I wasn’t loving. Will you forgive me?”
He stopped crying, nodded, and gave me a hug.
I can’t tell you how many times I am humbled by my five year old.
So. Often.
Auden has such a big, soft heart. He is learning more about Jesus as he grows, his attentive ears picking up on stuff during Sunday school and Bible lessons at school. We read the Bible together before bedtime, and he is starting to ask questions and remember things. It is so precious to be passing on my faith to my children, and I am so grateful for the opportunity. Faith has been in my family for generations, and now we get to continue to pass it down. It’s really important to Rob and me, and we are seeing it happen right before our eyes. I know without a doubt we won’t be perfect, but I am so honored to be a part of the process. And to see faith in the eyes of a child? Priceless.
**George**
George went to a cat café with his dad for an afternoon. Rob and I split up and did a “one on one date” with the boys so that they each got individual attention. Since George is obsessed with cats (he has like five cat stuffies and will be getting another for Christmas), Rob surprised him with the cat café.
He loved it. Yes, of course he loved the cats. But I think what he loved the most was one-on-one time with his daddy.
George is the middle child and I really want to be sensitive to the fact that he will need extra love and attention now and again. He, of our three kiddos, is probably the hardest one to navigate. Rob and I are often throwing up our hands at his behavior.
He is determined and volatile and full of rash emotions. His first response is usually to yell or whine or shake his fist at his brother. We are often saying “use your words” or “try again” or “say it in a big voice” to help direct him to communicate in a less volatile way.
But with this the case, I am reminded that I do not want to fall into the mistake of labeling him as the difficult child. I do not want to put him in a box. Because I have the utmost privilege of raising a headstrong child who one day be a fantastic adult. Determination in a four year old can be a headache now, but determination as an adult? It will serve him well. I don’t want to crush his spirit…just help guide it.
I just finished a really good book called “Bad Therapy” (highly recommend) and it made me think about my parenting of all the boys, but especially George. I don’t want to end up labeling George or misdiagnosing him or whatever. He’s a kid acting like a kid, and I want to help him the best I can grow into adulthood by teaching him resilience. I am again once reminded of what an honor it is to call George my sweet, sweet son.
**Rob**
I (and Tommy) did a girls weekend away at my parents beach house. I decided to extend the trip by two extra days (since Auden and George would have school) and came home a couple days ago.
Rob was less than enthused about my trip’s extension, since he would be holding down the fort during a very busy time of the school year. To say he was stressed is an understatement. But he did it without complaining and did a very good job managing the two big boys on his own.
I got home and immediately remembered why I love being home so much. Because Rob! Home feels like home because of him. We have such a nice dance at home, the two of us. We do things around the house, each with our own forged roles with no ounce of resentment, and we each help each other out with parenting, very much taking the team approach to raising our boys.
I just finished a fiction book last week about a marriage that falls apart, and honestly most of it was due to lack of communication and resentment on both sides. It made me so sad! Even though it was good writing, I hated it. But it did reassure me that that is not the way my own marriage works. As Rob and I near our ten year anniversary—next month!—I can’t help but smile at just how good it has been and still is. I love, love, love being married to him.
**Me**
These days, I am very much enjoying being a stay at home mom. I have so much contentment that I didn’t know I could have, so much happiness. I take care of the baby, tend to the older boys, do the school runs, wipe butts, keep the house running efficiently, do my workouts for my “me-time”. My life is simple and boring and routine-filled, but it is my simple and my boring my routine-filled. I want to remember what a sweet season it is, because I know it won’t always be like this. I want to remember one day when I am old and gray…I want to look back and remember: I was happy! I had a good life!
I think my favorite holiday tradition is the night that Rob and I wrap all of our Christmas gifts. We put on a British crime show on the tv in the basement and then he wraps on one side of the couch and I wrap on the other side of the couch. It takes hours to wrap all the gifts at once, but it works and it’s been tradition of the past few years. We will pick a night next week to do it and I’m already excited.
We are working on starting new traditions too now that our kids are getting old enough to appreciate it all. I’ve already picked which gluten free Christmas cookies I’m going to bake and we are planning to drive around to look at lights. Christmas is so magical when you have children! I love it. This year, we are staying in Colorado. (We alternate years going to WI and staying in CO) and I’m hoping it snows for the boys’ sakes. And then, after the holiday we will celebrate our anniversary and then shortly thereafter I will say hello to 32. So much joy! I am feeling so grateful for this season.
